22 Mar 2017 - Tired

Evening. 

 Day 26 on escitalopram. 

 Mood: foggy 3. 

 I've been extremely tired today, trying to operate on far too little sleep and (for me and my heart) far too much caffeine. Everything in me right now wants to find some quiet corner in my lab where no one can see me from the hall, sit in it, and just cry. I can't do that, though. There's just too much work that needs to be done, and crying about it wastes time I no longer have. 

 My fascination/preoccupation with suicide continues today, and it concerns me the more I think objectively about it. I don't think that there's any part of me that's actually suicidal, and I don't think that I'm actually in a place where I'd hurt myself, but the fact that I'm stuck on this topic is not good. 

 There's not much else to discuss today. 

 Until then. 

 22 Mar 2017 

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