14 Mar 2017 - A Trip to the Museum
Hello.
Day 18 on escitalopram.
Mood: 6
Today, I went to the Museum of Science and Industry with my best friend from high school (think that I'll call her Soul Sister). The weather was kind of crap, with lots of blowing snow, but I still had a good time, since neither of us had been to MSI since mid-2014. It was fun to see what had changed (not much) and what was the same (more or less everything), and it felt good to be back, since I spent more or less every weekend from fall 2010 to spring 2014 there volunteering. We did a nice speedthrough of the museum, going to the exhibits we especially love (like the chick hatchery, U-505, and fairy castle) and skipping the ones long established to be uninteresting (like the Pioneer Zephyr, toy factory, and bike history). The crowds were pleasantly light, which does not come as a surprise, given that today is a Tuesday when the local kiddies all have school.
I always enjoy the time I spend with Soul Sister, partly because we know each other so, so well after six or seven years of being friends, partly because I don't have the same inhibitions with her as I do around Favorite Person and every other friend I've made at university. My preferred means of showing affection is tactile, with lots of little touches and pokes. If I want to lay on/against Soul Sister, I will, and there's no part of me that goes "hey, don't do this, she won't like it and she'll like you less if you do it," like how I feel if I want to behave in the same way around Favorite Person. In a way, I feel a bit freer to be more completely myself, without suppressing behaviors or tendencies.
Not enough time has been spent contemplating this, and I should probably wait to write until after a satisfactory period of time has been devoted to the topic, but I think that at least part of the reason that I'm more comfortable being wholly myself around Soul Sister than around Favorite Person is that, in some way, I'm more secure in the former relationship than in the latter. There's not an inkling of fear that Soul Sister will up and leave me; I'm always afraid that I'll be abandoned by Favorite Person, even though I have very solid evidence that that won't happen. I haven't determined causes for this yet; I'll share those once I figure them out.
It's only Tuesday, and I already feel like I've wasted too much time and should be working. My attitude towards breaks will probably result in me getting seriously burned out sooner rather than later, and that's a fate that I will welcome with open arms.
I'm working on planning meals for tomorrow - I'm thinking scrambled eggs and a tortilla for breakfast, baked salmon and assorted roasted veggies for lunch, and spaghetti squash for dinner. The access to good, fresh food is something I'm going to miss once I'm back on campus.
Until then.
14 Mar 2017
Day 18 on escitalopram.
Mood: 6
Today, I went to the Museum of Science and Industry with my best friend from high school (think that I'll call her Soul Sister). The weather was kind of crap, with lots of blowing snow, but I still had a good time, since neither of us had been to MSI since mid-2014. It was fun to see what had changed (not much) and what was the same (more or less everything), and it felt good to be back, since I spent more or less every weekend from fall 2010 to spring 2014 there volunteering. We did a nice speedthrough of the museum, going to the exhibits we especially love (like the chick hatchery, U-505, and fairy castle) and skipping the ones long established to be uninteresting (like the Pioneer Zephyr, toy factory, and bike history). The crowds were pleasantly light, which does not come as a surprise, given that today is a Tuesday when the local kiddies all have school.
I always enjoy the time I spend with Soul Sister, partly because we know each other so, so well after six or seven years of being friends, partly because I don't have the same inhibitions with her as I do around Favorite Person and every other friend I've made at university. My preferred means of showing affection is tactile, with lots of little touches and pokes. If I want to lay on/against Soul Sister, I will, and there's no part of me that goes "hey, don't do this, she won't like it and she'll like you less if you do it," like how I feel if I want to behave in the same way around Favorite Person. In a way, I feel a bit freer to be more completely myself, without suppressing behaviors or tendencies.
Not enough time has been spent contemplating this, and I should probably wait to write until after a satisfactory period of time has been devoted to the topic, but I think that at least part of the reason that I'm more comfortable being wholly myself around Soul Sister than around Favorite Person is that, in some way, I'm more secure in the former relationship than in the latter. There's not an inkling of fear that Soul Sister will up and leave me; I'm always afraid that I'll be abandoned by Favorite Person, even though I have very solid evidence that that won't happen. I haven't determined causes for this yet; I'll share those once I figure them out.
It's only Tuesday, and I already feel like I've wasted too much time and should be working. My attitude towards breaks will probably result in me getting seriously burned out sooner rather than later, and that's a fate that I will welcome with open arms.
I'm working on planning meals for tomorrow - I'm thinking scrambled eggs and a tortilla for breakfast, baked salmon and assorted roasted veggies for lunch, and spaghetti squash for dinner. The access to good, fresh food is something I'm going to miss once I'm back on campus.
Until then.
14 Mar 2017
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