15 Mar 2017 - Black Mirror

Evening. 

 Day 19 on escitalopram. I think that I'm clenching my jaw less. That, or I'm not really noticing it much anymore. 

 I'd rate my mood a 5.5 overall. 

 Today was spent mostly unproductive, wasting my time watching Black Mirror on Netflix. I highly recommend watching it, if you don't already; it's like a 21st-century Twilight Zone, and just as full of satirical social commentary. 

 Soul Sister came over and hung out again today, which was delightful as always. New realizations of the depth of my starvation for contact and connection always become apparent when I'm visiting and can't get enough of her company. Other people serve as mirrors to criticize myself in, and in her (as well as in Favorite Person) I see, among other things, my recognition that my limited social circle is gradually killing me, and while I recognize that fact, I'm unable to change the situation.

Eventually, I'll be better at keeping new people around. That, or I'll get more tolerant of limited opportunities to slake my thirst for the presence of other humans. 

 There's not much else to discuss today; I didn't spent much time introspecting, so I don't have any new developments to share. Since I forgot to let the head of volunteers know that I planned on coming in tomorrow, and therefore don't have a scheduled shift (I volunteer in the butterfly haven at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum when I'm in town), I'm going to spend my Thursday working. I've still got so many things to do that I haven't even started; I'm trying not to beat myself up too much and/or give in to the feelings of guilt that the lack of productivity generates.

 Anyway, nothing else for the day.

Until tomorrow.

 15 Mar 2017 

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