22 May 2017 - Scotland Day 03 - The National Portrait Gallery and Exploring Edinburgh
Evening. So much for getting these up at a more reasonable time.
Day #87 on Lexapro. I feel like I'm slipping, and like there's a storm on the horizon. I don't know how big, or how far away, but it's there.
Mood: 5.
Today was spent walking around Edinburgh. Favorite Person and I, along with the rest of the group, started out at the Scottish National Portrait Museum. It was cool, I guess - as a science person, I don't really have the eyes to appreciate portraits beyond going "hm, yes, this is a portrait". Less than an hour was spent there before we left, looking for other things to see, though I did purchase a miniature plant press. It may come in handy, and didn't cost much. I bought a newspaper at Sainsbury's for my grandmother, bringing me up to a total of three papers for her. We moseyed over to the Waverley Mall, stopping first in an ultra-touristy shop. While there, I purchases a Highland cow plush for my sister, a Scotland pin for my good internet friend in Cali, a plaid scarf for my granny, postcards for some of my coadministrators (I help run the Insect Identification group on Facebook, which as of this writing has over 36,000 members), and a tin of shortbread that might end up a gift to myself. I got another postcard at another ultra-touristy shop next door.
After doing a bit of shopping, we wandered upstairs to the Costa that was in the mall, to have a place to sit and eat lunch as well as sample their wares. I got a strawberry banana smoothie and a lemon tart; she got a blended mocha something and a chocolate muffin. The smoothie wasn't anything special, but the tart was amazing. The custard was smooth, rich, and violently lemony; the shortbread crust was delicate, firm, and sweet. I'm going to have to find a copycat recipe online for it; I can't imagine life in the States without such a treat. We ate our sandwiches, drank our drinks, indulged in our baked goods.
This was the point that I started feeling a tiny bit off. I couldn't say why, but something internally, something mentally, was wrong. Something in me wanted to go outside to the park, sit on a bench in the rain, and stay there until I was soaked through and freezing. Something wanted to suffer, felt undeserving, disconnected. The something I take medicine in an attempt to master. I wanted to tell Favorite Person then that I was feeling unwell, but that thought brought on a punch of guilt, the knowledge of how she'd be willing to sacrifice her own enjoyment of this trip to care for me if the need arose. No, that wasn't something that I was willing to do, not until I'm in a crisis. Not until I can't get out of bed, and even then...
After lunch, a map to the national museum was pulled up and scrutinized. Destination selected, we poked around the mall some, found the other exit, and then found a whole train station. We didn't want to go to the train station, so back into the mall we went, taking a brief detour to find restrooms (they charge 30p to use the mall bathrooms! charging to use the bathroom, what insanity is that??). Exiting the mall back the way we came, we walked south and then west and then east and then south more until we got to the museum. The national library was passed on the way, and we made a note to check it out on the walk back.
The Scottish National Museum felt like the Field Museum, the Adler Planetarium, and the Art Institute stripped down to their barest essences and then rolled together into one institution. Naturally, Favorite Person and I concentrated our efforts in the animal exhibits, ignoring the signs by the specimens and bubbling with our own various fun facts. There was a little wolf reintroduction interactive that the two of us killed at, as well as a match the sound to the animal thing that was tons of fun.
Parts of me wanted to begin lashing out at Favorite Person in the museum, for no reason other than that I wasn't feeling great and wanted to take that out on another human being. My tone might have been a bit more sharp than was necessary at points, but I think that I held that in for the most part.
The National Library ended up being a place to sit, get water, go to the restroom. A library card was needed to get in (which I honestly think isn't that bad of an idea), so we were very limited in what we could see. I got a shortbread at the cafe, more because I was staring at the baked goods display and didn't want to be too weird. It was alright; not as buttery as I like, and cornstarch was used in the dough.
Favorite Person spent perhaps an hour sitting and writing in the library - she's doing the same thing for this trip as I am here, recording experiences. I don't know if she's writing her thoughts, or just what's happened, but I don't have the nerve to ask to see her travel journal. It feels like an invasion of private property, a private space that I don't deserve access to.
I filled my water bottles in the hopes of staving off the dehydration-confusion that was beginning to set in. Being under any kind of stress exacerbates my mental state, and I would have preferred to not have things worsen in my head.
Following the library, we slowly walked through the part towards the National Gallery, catching a few bees on the way. I saw a magpie for the first time - they are absolutely gorgeous birds, black and white with iridescent green tails. I wished that it were more inquisitive, so that I could have gotten a better look at it, but I'm going to be in magpie country for another two weeks, and I'm certain that I'll see more.
The National Gallery, unfortunately, was closed - its hours were 10am to 5pm, and we arrived around 5:10. Admission's free, though, so if we make it back to Edinburgh on this trip, we may go. We continued walking through the park - the place we strolled by was lined with Russian sage, which is an absolute bumblebee magnet. I saw three or four or maybe even five species flitting among the blooms, though their behavior seemed different from that of their American counterparts. The Scottish bees spent no more than a second on each flower, compared to the three or four seconds that American bumblebees will spend attending to Russian sage. I don't know what could lead to that kind of behavioral difference; I'll have to make a point of asking my professor about it when I'm back in the states.
An older lady interrogated me about why I was catching bees. I was honest about my interests, and my activity was innocuous as it was, but the interaction left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't collect any more specimens after it.
After that little encounter, Favorite Person and I walked back over to the meetup point for the group, St. Andrew Square. We were about an hour early, so we picked a bench by the Costa in the park and waited. I purchased more treats - two Belgian chocolate brownies for her, another lemon tart and a caramel chocolate bar for myself. It was chilly and beginning to rain at that point, which thwarted our attempt at playing a game of UNO (I carry a deck in my backpack; it's an easy enough game to just have on hand). My faithful Chicago Marathon jacket wasn't doing enough to keep me warm, so I ended up shivering just slightly. An inquisitive pidgeon walked around our feet, the cute things. It may be due to sampling biases, but the pidgeons I observed in Edinburgh looked far healthier than the ones I see cooing under train tracks back home.
Eventually, the rest of the group showed up, and we piled back into the van to head back to the house. I was very tired at this point, and still cold, so I wanted to lean into Favorite Person, hold her hand, and sleep against her shoulder. She'd made an annoyed-sounding comment earlier in the day about my radiating heat, and an annoyed-sounding request to stop touching her (I tend to pat arms when I'm directing attention), though. I slept with my hands switching between being wedged between my thighs and shoved into my pockets.
Back at the house, I offloaded some of my possessions, placed the day's purchases with the rest of my gifts in the closet, and surfed the internet a bit. Dinner was cold today - two kinds of leaf-y salad, a potato salad that I did not try, and vegetable quiche. The quiche contained mushrooms, though, so I didn't eat it - I have a phobia of mushrooms, so I just can't really eat them. As a result, dinner was light and very unsatisfying.
After I ate, I laid down and slept for several hours, eventually being woken up by Favorite Person coming back to the room to get ready for bed.
We're going up to the coast on the north sea tomorrow, which will be my chance to get good sand, if I remember to bring baggies. It should be fun.
My decision to start proactively taking 220mg of naproxen sodium in the morning with my allergy pill was a wise one. My feet didn't hurt much at all today, which was very, very pleasant. I'm gonna start recommending that Favorite Person do the same thing, since she complained of foot pain while we were out today...Having foot issues is not a good thing when you're on a trip that requires a lot of walking.
It's 3:32am here as I finish writing this post, and the sun started coming up about twenty minutes ago. I'm never going to get used to the sunrise/sunset patterns here.
I'll have a bit of elderberry wine, perhaps, and then crawl into bed. The urge to snuggle with something is still present, and strong as ever. It's frustrating.
Until then.
23 May 2017
Day #87 on Lexapro. I feel like I'm slipping, and like there's a storm on the horizon. I don't know how big, or how far away, but it's there.
Mood: 5.
Today was spent walking around Edinburgh. Favorite Person and I, along with the rest of the group, started out at the Scottish National Portrait Museum. It was cool, I guess - as a science person, I don't really have the eyes to appreciate portraits beyond going "hm, yes, this is a portrait". Less than an hour was spent there before we left, looking for other things to see, though I did purchase a miniature plant press. It may come in handy, and didn't cost much. I bought a newspaper at Sainsbury's for my grandmother, bringing me up to a total of three papers for her. We moseyed over to the Waverley Mall, stopping first in an ultra-touristy shop. While there, I purchases a Highland cow plush for my sister, a Scotland pin for my good internet friend in Cali, a plaid scarf for my granny, postcards for some of my coadministrators (I help run the Insect Identification group on Facebook, which as of this writing has over 36,000 members), and a tin of shortbread that might end up a gift to myself. I got another postcard at another ultra-touristy shop next door.
After doing a bit of shopping, we wandered upstairs to the Costa that was in the mall, to have a place to sit and eat lunch as well as sample their wares. I got a strawberry banana smoothie and a lemon tart; she got a blended mocha something and a chocolate muffin. The smoothie wasn't anything special, but the tart was amazing. The custard was smooth, rich, and violently lemony; the shortbread crust was delicate, firm, and sweet. I'm going to have to find a copycat recipe online for it; I can't imagine life in the States without such a treat. We ate our sandwiches, drank our drinks, indulged in our baked goods.
This was the point that I started feeling a tiny bit off. I couldn't say why, but something internally, something mentally, was wrong. Something in me wanted to go outside to the park, sit on a bench in the rain, and stay there until I was soaked through and freezing. Something wanted to suffer, felt undeserving, disconnected. The something I take medicine in an attempt to master. I wanted to tell Favorite Person then that I was feeling unwell, but that thought brought on a punch of guilt, the knowledge of how she'd be willing to sacrifice her own enjoyment of this trip to care for me if the need arose. No, that wasn't something that I was willing to do, not until I'm in a crisis. Not until I can't get out of bed, and even then...
After lunch, a map to the national museum was pulled up and scrutinized. Destination selected, we poked around the mall some, found the other exit, and then found a whole train station. We didn't want to go to the train station, so back into the mall we went, taking a brief detour to find restrooms (they charge 30p to use the mall bathrooms! charging to use the bathroom, what insanity is that??). Exiting the mall back the way we came, we walked south and then west and then east and then south more until we got to the museum. The national library was passed on the way, and we made a note to check it out on the walk back.
The Scottish National Museum felt like the Field Museum, the Adler Planetarium, and the Art Institute stripped down to their barest essences and then rolled together into one institution. Naturally, Favorite Person and I concentrated our efforts in the animal exhibits, ignoring the signs by the specimens and bubbling with our own various fun facts. There was a little wolf reintroduction interactive that the two of us killed at, as well as a match the sound to the animal thing that was tons of fun.
Parts of me wanted to begin lashing out at Favorite Person in the museum, for no reason other than that I wasn't feeling great and wanted to take that out on another human being. My tone might have been a bit more sharp than was necessary at points, but I think that I held that in for the most part.
The National Library ended up being a place to sit, get water, go to the restroom. A library card was needed to get in (which I honestly think isn't that bad of an idea), so we were very limited in what we could see. I got a shortbread at the cafe, more because I was staring at the baked goods display and didn't want to be too weird. It was alright; not as buttery as I like, and cornstarch was used in the dough.
Favorite Person spent perhaps an hour sitting and writing in the library - she's doing the same thing for this trip as I am here, recording experiences. I don't know if she's writing her thoughts, or just what's happened, but I don't have the nerve to ask to see her travel journal. It feels like an invasion of private property, a private space that I don't deserve access to.
I filled my water bottles in the hopes of staving off the dehydration-confusion that was beginning to set in. Being under any kind of stress exacerbates my mental state, and I would have preferred to not have things worsen in my head.
Following the library, we slowly walked through the part towards the National Gallery, catching a few bees on the way. I saw a magpie for the first time - they are absolutely gorgeous birds, black and white with iridescent green tails. I wished that it were more inquisitive, so that I could have gotten a better look at it, but I'm going to be in magpie country for another two weeks, and I'm certain that I'll see more.
The National Gallery, unfortunately, was closed - its hours were 10am to 5pm, and we arrived around 5:10. Admission's free, though, so if we make it back to Edinburgh on this trip, we may go. We continued walking through the park - the place we strolled by was lined with Russian sage, which is an absolute bumblebee magnet. I saw three or four or maybe even five species flitting among the blooms, though their behavior seemed different from that of their American counterparts. The Scottish bees spent no more than a second on each flower, compared to the three or four seconds that American bumblebees will spend attending to Russian sage. I don't know what could lead to that kind of behavioral difference; I'll have to make a point of asking my professor about it when I'm back in the states.
An older lady interrogated me about why I was catching bees. I was honest about my interests, and my activity was innocuous as it was, but the interaction left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't collect any more specimens after it.
After that little encounter, Favorite Person and I walked back over to the meetup point for the group, St. Andrew Square. We were about an hour early, so we picked a bench by the Costa in the park and waited. I purchased more treats - two Belgian chocolate brownies for her, another lemon tart and a caramel chocolate bar for myself. It was chilly and beginning to rain at that point, which thwarted our attempt at playing a game of UNO (I carry a deck in my backpack; it's an easy enough game to just have on hand). My faithful Chicago Marathon jacket wasn't doing enough to keep me warm, so I ended up shivering just slightly. An inquisitive pidgeon walked around our feet, the cute things. It may be due to sampling biases, but the pidgeons I observed in Edinburgh looked far healthier than the ones I see cooing under train tracks back home.
Eventually, the rest of the group showed up, and we piled back into the van to head back to the house. I was very tired at this point, and still cold, so I wanted to lean into Favorite Person, hold her hand, and sleep against her shoulder. She'd made an annoyed-sounding comment earlier in the day about my radiating heat, and an annoyed-sounding request to stop touching her (I tend to pat arms when I'm directing attention), though. I slept with my hands switching between being wedged between my thighs and shoved into my pockets.
Back at the house, I offloaded some of my possessions, placed the day's purchases with the rest of my gifts in the closet, and surfed the internet a bit. Dinner was cold today - two kinds of leaf-y salad, a potato salad that I did not try, and vegetable quiche. The quiche contained mushrooms, though, so I didn't eat it - I have a phobia of mushrooms, so I just can't really eat them. As a result, dinner was light and very unsatisfying.
After I ate, I laid down and slept for several hours, eventually being woken up by Favorite Person coming back to the room to get ready for bed.
We're going up to the coast on the north sea tomorrow, which will be my chance to get good sand, if I remember to bring baggies. It should be fun.
My decision to start proactively taking 220mg of naproxen sodium in the morning with my allergy pill was a wise one. My feet didn't hurt much at all today, which was very, very pleasant. I'm gonna start recommending that Favorite Person do the same thing, since she complained of foot pain while we were out today...Having foot issues is not a good thing when you're on a trip that requires a lot of walking.
It's 3:32am here as I finish writing this post, and the sun started coming up about twenty minutes ago. I'm never going to get used to the sunrise/sunset patterns here.
I'll have a bit of elderberry wine, perhaps, and then crawl into bed. The urge to snuggle with something is still present, and strong as ever. It's frustrating.
Until then.
23 May 2017
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