21 May 2017 - Scotland Day 02 - St. Andrew's and Fishing Towns of Fife
Evening. I think that I'm going to write these posts in bits throughout the day, rather than try to hammer it out all at once at the end of the day. That way, there'll be more detail, and I won't be trying to recall what happened when I'm tired and very ready for bed.
Today was day #86 on Lexapro.
Today was day #86 on Lexapro.
I haven't felt any ill effects from the drug, or from forgetting to take it for several consecutive days. I also haven't noticed a marked improvement in mood that can be directly related to the escitalopram. My depression seems to be strongly linked to stress, and I am far, far less stressed out now that the semester is over. As a result, a part of me wants to try tapering off the Lexapro altogether and not starting another antidepressant as planned. At the same time, though, I don't want to withdraw that pharmacological support and then have a resurgence of the severe bouts I endured before beginning the drug. I'll have to talk to Dr. Gilbert about this, but I'm not entirely sure when, since I'll arrive back on campus after my coverage to use the health center expires for the academic year.
Mood: 6.5.
Mood: 6.5.
Today was a full day, with much walking around and looking at things. The first site we went to (or group of sites, rather) was St. Andrew's university. Though our group is small - a total of nine people went, two of which are the group leaders - we generally don't stick together, save for Favorite Person and I. The first thing we did was poke around the beach some, and I collected quite a few pretty shells, as can be expected from me. We walked around St. Andrew's castle, taking photos of the architecture and whatnot. There was a well in the center of the main complex that was lined with liverworts and other plants...there was also a subterranean tunnel that neither I nor Favorite Person wished to explore.
From there, we browsed the gift shop, partly because why not and mostly because we were on the lookout for gifts for our people. I got my dad a Scotland golf ball - he specifically requested one. Favorite Person and I went halfsies on a unicorn mug for Curly, because she loves unicorns and what better place to get unicorn merch than Scotland?
After that, we moseyed over to St. Andrew's cathedral, taking our time reading names and dates on the many headstones (cenotaphs?) that were in the graveyard on premises. The oldest I saw was from the 17th century, though I feel that there were likely many that were far older. The newest I spotted was from 2010.
There was a seagull nesting atop one of the walls at the cathedral. I, being the curious human I am, naturally approached it, and it gave me quite the earful. Pissing it off was possibly a highlight of the day.
We ate lunch at St. Andrews, since a road we needed to take was blocked due to someone having a medical emergency and needing an ambulance.
Following St. Andrew's, the group met up and drove over to Anstruther, a small fishing village in Fife. It was such a cute little town - it had a very quaint feel to it, full of little independently owned shops and whatnot. Favorite Person and I withdrew more monies from an ATM, got ice cream (tablet flavored for me, chocolate for her), and walked down a pier, chitchatting. Apparently, the two guys in the group, who got a bit drunk last night, were discussing sleeping with the girls (the four of us) on the trip, after I'd fallen asleep. One, who has a girlfriend, said something along the lines of "no, I'm not ruining five years of work". I don't know if it's a result of my historically poor body image or what, but my immediate reaction was something about how they must have meant Favorite Person and the other two girls, because no one that looks like them would want to sleep with someone that looks like me. Of course, I have zero interest in sleeping with any males while on this trip, because I have no forms of contraception with me and I'm not willing to risk an STI. I'd be down to get with a girl, though; that's an increasing trend I've noticed lately.
Oh, and I found a large and very cute snail.
Anyway. Going places and seeing things. Following Anstruther, we visited St. Fillan's cave in Pittenweem. The cave itself was okay, I guess - I've visited other caves and wasn't particularly impressed. The really fun thing, though, was going down to the shore. The tide was out, and the shore was just covered in little tidal pools. Initially, I carefully picked my way around the rocks, attempting to not crush any of the many snails and limpets, trying not to get my 100% not waterproof footwear wet. However, I began spotting movements in some of the pools that were too far away for me to properly investigate from the safety of a dry rock. Steeling myself, I doffed my socks and shoes, cuffed my pants, and went in. The water was very chilly at first, but it was more than worth it - the tide pools were full of life. I spotted some good-sized shrimp, picked up (and got pinched by) wild hermit crabs, tiny things that looked like minute flounders, and even tinier things that I couldn't readily identify. Someone in my group even found an anemone!
I know that this was supposed to be an arts and culture trip, but I am far more interested in finding and meeting Scottish wildlife and visiting Scottish natural areas than anything else. My love of science and for the natural world permeates all things.
Dinner today was penne pasta with homemade pesto, a green salad, and little what I think were focaccia breads. I really liked the pasta; it's another recipe that I'm going to have to get. Dessert was a slice of blueberry cake with cream cheese frosting that, if the sugar were dialed down some and frosting omitted, would be divine for breakfast. If there's any left in the morning, that's exactly what I'll have.
We stopped at Asda, a supermarket, before coming back for dinner, and I purchased a couple bottles of wine for myself - an elderberry and a mostly alcohol-free merlot. Some other stuff was bought as well - an elderflower soda, some candy, shortbread and caramel bars - but the alcohol was the main goal. The elderberry wine was open and sampled a bit after dinner, and I'm very much not a fan of it. It tasted like cough medicine, and not in a pleasant way. I don't know what to do with this almost full bottle, since I neither want to throw it away nor force myself to keep drinking it. Perhaps I can sneak out of the house late at night and pour it all into the grass? (I wouldn't actually do that.)
Something I noticed today was a big increase in my drive to be affectionate. It was something that resided in the forefront of my consciousness, where it usually runs as something like a background program. I wanted to hug, to hold hands, to kiss, to lay on/across, and since I don't have anyone here that I feel completely comfortable hugging, holding the hands of, kissing, or laying on/across, the feeling had no outlet, as usual.
Why do I have to be such a snuggly person? Or, why do I have to be such a snuggly person in a community of not snuggly people?
Tomorrow, we're going to Edinburgh to see the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, which should be pretty neat. Favorite Person and I are gonna try to hit up the National Museum of Scotland and perhaps the national library while we're in the city.
I'm gonna take today's Lexapro with a bit of wine. Until then.
Imagine I'd be your one and only
Instead I'm the lonely one
You, me, and a lie
Silence is closer
We're passing ships in the night
"I Sat By the Ocean", Queens of the Stone Age
21 May 2017
From there, we browsed the gift shop, partly because why not and mostly because we were on the lookout for gifts for our people. I got my dad a Scotland golf ball - he specifically requested one. Favorite Person and I went halfsies on a unicorn mug for Curly, because she loves unicorns and what better place to get unicorn merch than Scotland?
After that, we moseyed over to St. Andrew's cathedral, taking our time reading names and dates on the many headstones (cenotaphs?) that were in the graveyard on premises. The oldest I saw was from the 17th century, though I feel that there were likely many that were far older. The newest I spotted was from 2010.
There was a seagull nesting atop one of the walls at the cathedral. I, being the curious human I am, naturally approached it, and it gave me quite the earful. Pissing it off was possibly a highlight of the day.
We ate lunch at St. Andrews, since a road we needed to take was blocked due to someone having a medical emergency and needing an ambulance.
Following St. Andrew's, the group met up and drove over to Anstruther, a small fishing village in Fife. It was such a cute little town - it had a very quaint feel to it, full of little independently owned shops and whatnot. Favorite Person and I withdrew more monies from an ATM, got ice cream (tablet flavored for me, chocolate for her), and walked down a pier, chitchatting. Apparently, the two guys in the group, who got a bit drunk last night, were discussing sleeping with the girls (the four of us) on the trip, after I'd fallen asleep. One, who has a girlfriend, said something along the lines of "no, I'm not ruining five years of work". I don't know if it's a result of my historically poor body image or what, but my immediate reaction was something about how they must have meant Favorite Person and the other two girls, because no one that looks like them would want to sleep with someone that looks like me. Of course, I have zero interest in sleeping with any males while on this trip, because I have no forms of contraception with me and I'm not willing to risk an STI. I'd be down to get with a girl, though; that's an increasing trend I've noticed lately.
Oh, and I found a large and very cute snail.
Anyway. Going places and seeing things. Following Anstruther, we visited St. Fillan's cave in Pittenweem. The cave itself was okay, I guess - I've visited other caves and wasn't particularly impressed. The really fun thing, though, was going down to the shore. The tide was out, and the shore was just covered in little tidal pools. Initially, I carefully picked my way around the rocks, attempting to not crush any of the many snails and limpets, trying not to get my 100% not waterproof footwear wet. However, I began spotting movements in some of the pools that were too far away for me to properly investigate from the safety of a dry rock. Steeling myself, I doffed my socks and shoes, cuffed my pants, and went in. The water was very chilly at first, but it was more than worth it - the tide pools were full of life. I spotted some good-sized shrimp, picked up (and got pinched by) wild hermit crabs, tiny things that looked like minute flounders, and even tinier things that I couldn't readily identify. Someone in my group even found an anemone!
I know that this was supposed to be an arts and culture trip, but I am far more interested in finding and meeting Scottish wildlife and visiting Scottish natural areas than anything else. My love of science and for the natural world permeates all things.
Dinner today was penne pasta with homemade pesto, a green salad, and little what I think were focaccia breads. I really liked the pasta; it's another recipe that I'm going to have to get. Dessert was a slice of blueberry cake with cream cheese frosting that, if the sugar were dialed down some and frosting omitted, would be divine for breakfast. If there's any left in the morning, that's exactly what I'll have.
We stopped at Asda, a supermarket, before coming back for dinner, and I purchased a couple bottles of wine for myself - an elderberry and a mostly alcohol-free merlot. Some other stuff was bought as well - an elderflower soda, some candy, shortbread and caramel bars - but the alcohol was the main goal. The elderberry wine was open and sampled a bit after dinner, and I'm very much not a fan of it. It tasted like cough medicine, and not in a pleasant way. I don't know what to do with this almost full bottle, since I neither want to throw it away nor force myself to keep drinking it. Perhaps I can sneak out of the house late at night and pour it all into the grass? (I wouldn't actually do that.)
Something I noticed today was a big increase in my drive to be affectionate. It was something that resided in the forefront of my consciousness, where it usually runs as something like a background program. I wanted to hug, to hold hands, to kiss, to lay on/across, and since I don't have anyone here that I feel completely comfortable hugging, holding the hands of, kissing, or laying on/across, the feeling had no outlet, as usual.
Why do I have to be such a snuggly person? Or, why do I have to be such a snuggly person in a community of not snuggly people?
Tomorrow, we're going to Edinburgh to see the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, which should be pretty neat. Favorite Person and I are gonna try to hit up the National Museum of Scotland and perhaps the national library while we're in the city.
I'm gonna take today's Lexapro with a bit of wine. Until then.
Imagine I'd be your one and only
Instead I'm the lonely one
You, me, and a lie
Silence is closer
We're passing ships in the night
"I Sat By the Ocean", Queens of the Stone Age
21 May 2017
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