06 May 2017 - Pollywogs
Wow, this post is going up late, isn't it?
Saturday was day 72 on Lexapro.
Mood: 7.
The 6th was day 3 of my little experiment, and things were still going swimmingly. The good mood continued. It was also National Free Comic Book Day, and I'm a little bummed out that I didn't go to one of the comic shops in town for some free reading material.
Even though I had important things to do, I spent the day relaxing, and doing things that I enjoy. After lazing in bed for hours, scrolling, I dragged myself out and hung out in the Japanese garden a while. There was a couple there when I arrived, a pair of older women, and I'm envious of the way that they were completely at ease with one another, as they tossed bits of cheese to the koi and goldfish in the pond. They say that humans have an innate need to form connections with and attachments to other humans, and given my perpetual longing for more connections and deeper connections than what I already have, I have to say that I agree with that.
After spending some time feeding the koi with some commercial pellet that I'd brought, I migrated to a different part of the pond, a shaded place, and scooped up a bunch of tadpoles. I'm not sure what kind of amphibian they'll become (I'm thinking American toad), but they're cute and plentiful. Favorite Person gave me the idea of seeing if my sculpin will eat tadpoles, since they seem to go after anything that moves, and I really latched onto that concept, catching approximately too many of the little guys. Some of them even had little leg buds, which I found absolutely adorable.
My original intention was to spend some time at the garden and then go to the library or student center to study, but my excitement to see if my fish eat tadpoles overrode that. I ended up walked right back to my dorm, jar filled with froggos (toaddos?) in my bag, to see in any of my fish wanted to eat. Oddly enough, neither of my big sculpin went after the pollywogs - or, rather, they went after them, but didn't consume any. It was curious to watch, but I now have tadpoles in my sculpin tank, so that's a thing.
While pondering stuff and things as I'm wont to do, I toyed around with the idea of taking photos of myself and sharing them online to address and perhaps combat the self-image issues that have plagued me for a while now. After getting opinions on it from a couple people whose thoughts I value on these kinds of things (and after taking a very long, very hot shower, where I thought even more on the issue), I kind of took the plunge. Did so before I could talk myself out of taking such a drastic step outside of my comfort zone. So, there's a singular selfie floating around Tumblr, not attached to my name or face. Though it's probably buried beneath the thousands of other nudes that get posted to the site, by now, I feel like working up the courage to do so and post at all was a major accomplishment.
I might keep photographing and sharing. Who knows.
Until then.
08 May 2017
Saturday was day 72 on Lexapro.
Mood: 7.
The 6th was day 3 of my little experiment, and things were still going swimmingly. The good mood continued. It was also National Free Comic Book Day, and I'm a little bummed out that I didn't go to one of the comic shops in town for some free reading material.
Even though I had important things to do, I spent the day relaxing, and doing things that I enjoy. After lazing in bed for hours, scrolling, I dragged myself out and hung out in the Japanese garden a while. There was a couple there when I arrived, a pair of older women, and I'm envious of the way that they were completely at ease with one another, as they tossed bits of cheese to the koi and goldfish in the pond. They say that humans have an innate need to form connections with and attachments to other humans, and given my perpetual longing for more connections and deeper connections than what I already have, I have to say that I agree with that.
After spending some time feeding the koi with some commercial pellet that I'd brought, I migrated to a different part of the pond, a shaded place, and scooped up a bunch of tadpoles. I'm not sure what kind of amphibian they'll become (I'm thinking American toad), but they're cute and plentiful. Favorite Person gave me the idea of seeing if my sculpin will eat tadpoles, since they seem to go after anything that moves, and I really latched onto that concept, catching approximately too many of the little guys. Some of them even had little leg buds, which I found absolutely adorable.
My original intention was to spend some time at the garden and then go to the library or student center to study, but my excitement to see if my fish eat tadpoles overrode that. I ended up walked right back to my dorm, jar filled with froggos (toaddos?) in my bag, to see in any of my fish wanted to eat. Oddly enough, neither of my big sculpin went after the pollywogs - or, rather, they went after them, but didn't consume any. It was curious to watch, but I now have tadpoles in my sculpin tank, so that's a thing.
While pondering stuff and things as I'm wont to do, I toyed around with the idea of taking photos of myself and sharing them online to address and perhaps combat the self-image issues that have plagued me for a while now. After getting opinions on it from a couple people whose thoughts I value on these kinds of things (and after taking a very long, very hot shower, where I thought even more on the issue), I kind of took the plunge. Did so before I could talk myself out of taking such a drastic step outside of my comfort zone. So, there's a singular selfie floating around Tumblr, not attached to my name or face. Though it's probably buried beneath the thousands of other nudes that get posted to the site, by now, I feel like working up the courage to do so and post at all was a major accomplishment.
I might keep photographing and sharing. Who knows.
Until then.
08 May 2017
Comments
Post a Comment