Going under
" You're a fucking alcoholic. Do you want to be like Loretta? Because Loretta does that shit. " This is what a friend of mine said to me when she came to my place last night, partly to check up on me - I'd sent her a string of increasingly unhappy and kind of distressed messages - and partly to be supportive, because I felt like garbage and my outlook was correspondingly bleak. And she's almost right; I've recognized my own alcoholic tendencies for a while now, though I haven't exactly done much by way of keeping them in check. Whatever part of the brain that typically goes hey, maybe I shouldn't drink an entire bottle of wine on a Wednesday and while I'm dehydrated doesn't work in me, because drink an entire bottle of wine on a Wednesday while dehydrated is exactly what I did. I'm a lot less concerned about my drinking habits than I probably should be, considering. Downing a whole bottle of wine in a sitting, desiring to get still more alc...

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