03 Jun 2017 - Scotland Day 15 - Void

Afternoon. 

 Day 99 on Lexapro. In a foggy, painful moment around 3am, I took a double dose, which constitutes 40mg of escitalopram oxalate. It'll either significantly boost my mood, or make me feel significantly worse. We'll see tomorrow. 

 Mood: 4. Today was rough; I'm feeling very worn out psychologically as I write this. 

 I spent today largely in bed again. It took a while, but eventually I found the motivation to get up, first to go to the bathroom and again to eat. My last real meal was two days ago, and I hadn't consumed any water in that span either, so I was kind of dizzy and lightheaded for a while. 

 A plate was set aside for me from breakfast today - bacon, sausage, black pudding, baked beans, some sort of amazingly chewy bread, Portabella mushrooms, and a fried egg. It was good, save for the mushrooms, which I didn't touch on principle. I wished that there had been more of the bread. 
My immediate response to everyone returning to the house was to retreat to my room - the jump from no people to ten people around is just too much. It's jarring. 
Dinner today is lasagna and god knows what else. I'm not eating with everyone else. 

 I don't know how I'll spend the rest of the evening. Laundry would be wise, but doesn't take up enough time. I suppose that I'll figure it out. 

 I have no idea what's on the agenda for tomorrow. 

 Until then. 

 03 Jun 2017  

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