Trial and error
Having depression is draining, but so is the process of finding a long-term management plan that actually works.
In the past year, I've tried three different antidepressants - two alone and one combination. Lexapro (escitalopram) was the first, and while it seemed to help at first, it was ultimately ineffective, and I ended up switching to something else after four, five months. Then I tried Wellbutrin (bupropion) alone, and it was the same story, though it seemed effective for longer. For less than two weeks, I gave a combination of Wellbutrin and Effexor (venlafaxine) a try, and that was horrific. Dr. Gilbert's recommendation was to take the lowest dose of Effexor for about 5 more days before stopping, but I think that one more day is all I can take. The drug gave me a continuous headache that ranged in intensity from annoying to so severe that I quite literally could not get out of bed and missed most of my classes last week as result. On top of that, it's completely screwed up my sleep - I stay awake later into the night, take longer to fall asleep, and wake up multiple times in the night. And it's more or less completely eliminated my appetite. These aren't side effects that I can tolerate at this point in my life; likewise, everything that I've read leads me to believe that tapering off the drug if I take it for a long time is a difficult process.
Trying drug after drug is exhausting.
I met with Dr. Gilbert this morning to discuss both discontinuing Effexor and potential other antidepressants to try, and she gave me a list of six to consider. Half of them were automatically out, since generic versions aren't available and I can't afford name brand versions. A fourth, BuSpar, is out because it's more used for anxiety than depression, and anxiety isn't the core of the issue, and a fifth, Cymbalta, isn't being considered because it's an SNRI like Effexor, and I don't really want to go down that road again.
So, I'm going to be giving Remeron (mirtazapine) a shot. It causes sedation and weight gain, but my sister is taking it and doing well, so it might work for me, too.
On the topic, the next week is going to be extremely rough, since I forgot to ask for a refill for my Wellbutrin. I'll be going into withdrawal for two different antidepressants, and after a few days, it'll be the first time in over a year that there won't be therapeutic concentrations of any antidepressant in my system. I don't know what to expect here, and I really hope that my requests of KH and Curly to check in with me are honored, because the prospect of facing withdrawal for two things, one of which has a reputation for rough withdrawal symptoms, without any kind of support to lean on is terrifying. Withdrawal from Lexapro was bad enough, and that was mild in comparison.
If nothing else, I look forward to wanting to eat again.
In the past year, I've tried three different antidepressants - two alone and one combination. Lexapro (escitalopram) was the first, and while it seemed to help at first, it was ultimately ineffective, and I ended up switching to something else after four, five months. Then I tried Wellbutrin (bupropion) alone, and it was the same story, though it seemed effective for longer. For less than two weeks, I gave a combination of Wellbutrin and Effexor (venlafaxine) a try, and that was horrific. Dr. Gilbert's recommendation was to take the lowest dose of Effexor for about 5 more days before stopping, but I think that one more day is all I can take. The drug gave me a continuous headache that ranged in intensity from annoying to so severe that I quite literally could not get out of bed and missed most of my classes last week as result. On top of that, it's completely screwed up my sleep - I stay awake later into the night, take longer to fall asleep, and wake up multiple times in the night. And it's more or less completely eliminated my appetite. These aren't side effects that I can tolerate at this point in my life; likewise, everything that I've read leads me to believe that tapering off the drug if I take it for a long time is a difficult process.
Trying drug after drug is exhausting.
I met with Dr. Gilbert this morning to discuss both discontinuing Effexor and potential other antidepressants to try, and she gave me a list of six to consider. Half of them were automatically out, since generic versions aren't available and I can't afford name brand versions. A fourth, BuSpar, is out because it's more used for anxiety than depression, and anxiety isn't the core of the issue, and a fifth, Cymbalta, isn't being considered because it's an SNRI like Effexor, and I don't really want to go down that road again.
So, I'm going to be giving Remeron (mirtazapine) a shot. It causes sedation and weight gain, but my sister is taking it and doing well, so it might work for me, too.
On the topic, the next week is going to be extremely rough, since I forgot to ask for a refill for my Wellbutrin. I'll be going into withdrawal for two different antidepressants, and after a few days, it'll be the first time in over a year that there won't be therapeutic concentrations of any antidepressant in my system. I don't know what to expect here, and I really hope that my requests of KH and Curly to check in with me are honored, because the prospect of facing withdrawal for two things, one of which has a reputation for rough withdrawal symptoms, without any kind of support to lean on is terrifying. Withdrawal from Lexapro was bad enough, and that was mild in comparison.
If nothing else, I look forward to wanting to eat again.
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