Howl

It's an inevitability. 

 I knew it would happen. 

 It had to happen. 

 There's no avoiding it.

And it has absolutely, positively nothing to do with me. 

KH is moving out. Favorite Person - she's leaving.



I know that this has nothing to do with me, and yet there's a wave of hurt. Like it's my fault she's moving across the country, not that the lease on the townhouse is ending and she's starting grad school.

This is something that I've been bracing myself for for months now, but now that it's only a few days away, now that there are only a few days left where my emotional anchor is still in close proximity, a few days left before I won't see her again for God knows how long, if I ever see her again - none of my preparation feels like it'll do any good.

I can feel in my bones that next week will be one of the hardest that I've endured. The loud, irrational feeling that this is all my fault and that she's abandoning me and that I deserve this pain has been simmering below the surface more intensely as the 28th approaches, as much as I tell myself that my emotions aren't reflective of reality.




I'm sorry that I wasn't capable of being a better friend in the past six or so months. I'm sorry that I spent so much time avoiding you. I can't shake the feeling that I'll miss you significantly more than you'll miss me, but I don't know if that's based on reality or some other lie my miswired brain tells me.

I don't know if I'll retain enough composure to tell you this in person before you go, but I wish you all the best in Baltimore.







Please don't forget about me.

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